I need to talk to you about something that doesn't fit on a pink ribbon. The mental toll of breast cancer. We talk about treatment. We talk about survival rates. We talk about reconstruction options and clinical trials and genetic testing. But nobody talks about the panic attacks at 3am. Nobody talks about the depression that settles in after surgery. Nobody talks about the anxiety that lives in your chest between every scan. Nobody talks about the fact that sometimes, the hardest part of cancer isn't the cancer itself. It's everything that comes with it. Let me take you inside what it's really like: THE DIAGNOSIS The moment you hear "you have cancer," time stops. Your brain can't process it. You hear the doctor talking, but it sounds like they're underwater. Then the decisions start coming at you like bullets: Mastectomy or lumpectomy? Single or double? Reconstruction immediate or delayed? Implants or tissue flap? Chemo? Radiation? Hormone therapy? Clinical trials? A hundred life-or-death decisions when you can't even think straight. You're supposed to research. You're supposed to get second opinions. You're supposed to advocate for yourself. But gorgeous, how are you supposed to make rational decisions when you're terrified you're going to die? THE TREATMENT Then comes treatment, and it's nothing like the brochures make it seem. Your body betrays you. Hair falls out. Weight changes. Scars form. Energy disappears. Your reflection becomes a stranger. Your mind betrays you too. Chemo brain makes you forget words mid-sentence. Anxiety makes your heart race over nothing. Depression makes getting out of bed feel impossible. And everyone keeps telling you how "strong" you are. But baby, you don't feel strong. You feel like you're barely holding it together with duct tape and prayer. Some days you cry in Target because everything is overwhelming. Some days you're angry at your body for betraying you. Some days you wonder if fighting is even worth it. And then you feel guilty for having those thoughts. THE RECONSTRUCTION DECISION If you have a mastectomy, then comes another layer of emotional complexity: reconstruction. Do you want it? Don't want it? Not sure? Some women want to reclaim what cancer took. Some women want to move forward without looking back. Some women want to feel "normal" again. Some women redefine what normal means. All of these choices are valid. But nobody prepares you for the emotional weight of deciding what to do with your body after cancer has already made so many decisions FOR you. Do you want implants that might need replacing every 10-15 years? Do you want tissue flap surgery that's more complex but uses your own body? Do you want to stay flat and embrace your new body as is? There's no right answer. Only YOUR answer. And whatever you choose, someone will have an opinion about it. Someone will say you're "giving up" if you don't reconstruct. Someone will say you're "vain" if you do. Someone will question every choice you make about YOUR body. THE MENTAL HEALTH REALITY Here's what I need you to understand: Cancer doesn't just affect your body. It affects your mind, your emotions, your sense of self, your relationships, your faith, your future. And the mental health support you need? It's not optional. It's essential. Therapy isn't a luxury during cancer treatment. It's survival. Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication aren't weakness. They're tools to help you fight. Crying doesn't mean you're not strong. It means you're human. Having dark thoughts doesn't mean you're giving up. It means you're in an impossible situation and your brain is trying to process it. THE TRUTH NOBODY TELLS YOU You don't have to be positive all the time. You don't have to inspire anybody. You don't have to be brave. You don't have to "fight like a girl" or "kick cancer's butt" or any of the other battle language people use. Some days, surviving is all you can do. And that's enough. Some days, you're allowed to be angry that this happened to you. Some days, you're allowed to grieve what you've lost - your health, your body, your sense of safety, your old life. And you're allowed to ask for help with your mental health just as much as you ask for help with your physical health. IF YOU'RE FIGHTING BREAST CANCER RIGHT NOW: I see you. I see the battle nobody else sees. The one happening in your mind while everyone focuses on your body. Get the mental health support you need. Therapist, psychiatrist, support group, whatever works for YOU. Be honest about how hard this is. With your doctors. With your people. With yourself. Make decisions about your body based on what YOU want, not what anyone else thinks you should do. Let yourself grieve. Let yourself be angry. Let yourself fall apart. Then decide who you're becoming on the other side of this. IF YOU'RE SUPPORTING SOMEONE THROUGH BREAST CANCER: Stop telling them to "stay positive." Stop telling them "everything happens for a reason." Stop telling them how strong they are when they don't feel strong. Ask them how they're REALLY doing. Not the version they tell everyone else. The real, messy, honest truth. Encourage them to get mental health support. Offer to help them find a therapist. Offer to go with them to appointments. Support whatever decisions they make about their body - reconstruction or not, treatment choices, all of it. It's their body. Their choice. Just be present. That's all they need. HERE'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO: If you're fighting breast cancer and your mental health is suffering - tell someone. TODAY. Your doctor, your oncologist, a therapist, someone. If you're supporting someone through breast cancer - check on their mental health. Not just their body. Their mind. Hit reply and tell me: What part of the mental health side of cancer do you wish people talked about more? I read every email. And sometimes we all need to know we're not alone in the messy, hard parts. Still here, still real, still fighting the battles nobody sees, XOXO - TrevisMichelle 💋 P.S. If you're a breast cancer survivor who struggled with mental health during treatment - you're not alone. It doesn't mean you weren't strong enough. It means you were facing something incredibly hard and your brain was trying to process it. You made it through. That's what matters. P.P.S. Resources for mental health support during cancer: Ask your oncologist for a referral to a therapist who specializes in cancer patients CancerCare.org offers free counseling Many cancer centers have social workers and psychiatrists on staff Support groups (in-person or online) can help you connect with others who understand This content is for educational and awareness purposes only and is not medical advice. Always consult with your healthcare provider for personalized medical guidance and if you have concerns about your health.

Let’s be real: life is gonna life. Hard. Whether it’s loss, betrayal, sickness, financial hits, or waking up one day realizing you’ve been showing up for everybody but yourself — the waves are gonna come. But let me tell you what separates folks who sink from those who rise: resilience. And no, I don’t mean slapping on a smile and pretending everything is fine while your insides are screaming. That’s not resilience, that’s spiritual bypassing... and I don’t cosign that. Resilience is showing up broken and believing you can still be whole. It’s telling your story when your voice shakes. It’s setting boundaries with shaky hands. It’s learning how to rest without guilt. It’s knowing when to cry, when to scream, and when to say, “That’s enough.” So how do you build resilience when life keeps swinging? 1. You gotta feel it to heal it. Stop stuffing it down. Feel the rage. Feel the sadness. Feel the fear. But don’t unpack and live there. Emotions are information, not identity. 2. Get you a truth squad. Not a fan club. Not folks who cosign your mess. A truth squad will let you cry, then lovingly say, “Alright now, wipe your face. You still got purpose.” Surround yourself with real ones. 3. Therapy. Yes, I said it. If you broke your leg, would you just limp around praying it healed itself? No. So why do that with your mind? Resilience doesn't mean doing it alone — it means knowing when to ask for help. 4. Routines over resolutions. The sexy stuff fades. The consistency saves. Drink your water. Move your body. Write your thoughts. Stay off that man’s page (you know the one). Small routines build emotional muscles. 5. Tell yourself the truth. Resilience starts with radical honesty. Are you exhausted or uninspired? Are you in love or trauma bonded? Are you growing or just staying busy? Look yourself in the eye and keep it real. 6. Stay rooted in something bigger. Faith. Purpose. Calling. Whatever you believe in — anchor yourself. Life will try to blow you every which way, but roots keep you from being uprooted every time the wind blows. 7. Give yourself permission to be new. You are not who you were before the heartbreak, the loss, the setback. That version of you died. And you? You’re being reborn. Don’t go back to what's familiar just because it’s comfortable. Final Word: Resilience isn’t about having it all together. It’s about rebuilding while nobody claps. It's healing even when the apology never comes. It's deciding you’re worthy, over and over again, no matter what broke you. So take a deep breath, baby. Straighten that crown. You might be tired, but you’re still standing — and that? That’s power. xoxo TrevisMichelle

Let me tell you something you might not want to hear: Just because you're ready doesn’t mean it’s time. And just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean you missed it. Timing is one of the most misunderstood parts of our journey. We want it now. We pray for it now. We put in the work and expect the reward immediately. But purpose? Purpose has its own pace. I remember years ago, I had the opportunity to speak on a big stage—one of those "life-changing" moments. Everything in me screamed YES. But something in my spirit said, “Not yet.” It hurt to turn it down. It made no sense to anybody else. But I listened. And wouldn’t you know, a year later, I was invited back—not just as a speaker, but as a featured voice with double the audience, double the impact, and double the alignment. See, the delay wasn’t punishment. It was preparation. You don’t want premature elevation. You want sustained favor. Sometimes God is still building the room you’re meant to walk into. Sometimes you’re still healing so you can handle the blessing without bleeding all over it. Sometimes the audience you’re called to hasn’t arrived yet. Right move. Wrong time? Still the wrong move. So here’s what I’ll say to the woman feeling anxious about what hasn’t happened yet: Keep sowing. Keep building. Keep showing up. But stop trying to force what only divine timing can release. I’m still learning this lesson every day—even now, during this season of treatment, healing, and still walking in purpose. I want to do it all. Speak. Travel. Create. But I know I must honor the rhythm of the season I’m in. There’s nothing worse than being somewhere that looks good on the outside but feels all the way wrong on the inside. That’s what happens when we jump ahead of grace. So pause. Pray. Be obedient. And trust that your time is not only coming—it’s going to be right on time. xoxo,  TrevisMichelle

Let me tell you something real: I looked good. I mean GOOD. The outfit? On point. The energy? Sky high. The lashes? Lashing. But you know what else was real? The way I came home and laid out on that couch like I had just run a triathlon in a pair of stilettos. Listen. I did too much. And here’s the thing most people won’t say out loud: just because your energy is up in the moment, doesn’t mean you have to use every drop of it. You do not have to go full throttle every time life gives you a little momentum. Rest isn’t just something we get when we’re falling apart—rest is part of the work. As women—especially Black women, especially women who lead, heal, build, and pour into everybody else—we have this bad habit of equating stillness with weakness. Like if we’re not "on," we're not doing enough. That mindset? It's played out. I’m currently walking through chemotherapy. I’m still coaching, still speaking, still showing up because my purpose hasn’t paused. But that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to sit my fabulous self down when my body says, "Girl, that’s enough." Let this be your permission slip: you can take a break before you break down. You can be powerful and still protect your peace. You can be strong and still choose softness. Sis, don’t let the lashes fool you. Sometimes the strongest move you can make is laying all the way down. And next time you feel that energy rising, just ask yourself: "Do I need to go full out right now? Or can I save some for me?" Because this healing journey is not a sprint. It’s sacred. And you deserve to move through it with grace, wisdom, and rest on purpose. xoxo,TrevisMichelle

The second time they said cancer, I didn’t fall apart. I didn’t melt into the floor. I didn’t even cry—at least not right away. Because something in me had already been rebuilt from the first time. This time, I heard the word recurrence and something rose up in me that whispered, rebuild. I didn’t ask, "Why me?" I already knew the answer. Purpose. This isn’t just about illness. It’s about identity. It’s about what you believe when the walls cave in. It’s about who you decide to be in the middle of the storm. Right now, I’m undergoing 8-hour chemotherapy treatments. I have a port in my chest. And I’m still here, doing the work I was called to do. Coaching. Writing. Guiding. Showing up. Not out of obligation. Out of alignment. Because here’s what I know: Purpose doesn’t pause just because life gets hard. You don’t need to have it all together to be powerful. You don’t need to wait until the healing is complete to begin again. You don’t need to be perfect to be impactful. You just need to keep showing up. If you’re facing something right now—whether it’s illness, grief, heartbreak, or uncertainty—let me be the voice that reminds you: You are not your diagnosis. You are not your divorce. You are not your setback. You are still chosen. Still powerful. Still needed. You heard chaos? I heard calling. You heard cancer? I heard healed. We don’t just survive over here. We rise. xoxo, TrevisMichelle

When you're in the thick of a divorce, it can feel like your world is falling apart. The life you once knew is shifting dramatically, and it's easy to feel like you've lost your way. But here’s the truth no one tells you often enough: Divorce is not the end of your story. In fact, it can be the beginning of a thriving new chapter where you rediscover yourself, your passions, and your strength.  Divorce is the closing of one door, but it also opens countless others. It’s the perfect opportunity to reflect on who you are now and who you want to become. So, how do you go from feeling broken to living a life of abundance and joy? Here are a few things to keep in mind as you step into this new season of life: 1. Redefine Your Identity Outside of Marriage During marriage, it’s common for couples to blur the lines of their individual identities. When the relationship ends, it’s easy to feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself. But here’s the thing—you haven’t. You’re still you, and now is the perfect time to rediscover who you are outside of the roles of spouse and partner. Take time to explore what excites you, what you’re passionate about, and what brings you joy. Maybe it’s a hobby you put on the backburner or a career goal you haven’t pursued yet. Whatever it is, divorce provides the freedom to chase your own dreams and redefine your sense of self. This is your chance to create an identity that’s authentically you. 2. Embrace the Freedom to Craft a Life You Love Divorce can be daunting, but it also brings with it the opportunity to make choices that are solely for you. No longer do you need to compromise your desires for the sake of a relationship. Whether it’s choosing where to live, what to spend your time on, or who to surround yourself with, the freedom that comes with being single is a gift. Start small—make a list of things you want to do now that you’re in control of your own destiny. Is there a place you’ve always wanted to travel to? A skill you’ve always wanted to learn? Embrace the freedom to make decisions that are aligned with your values and aspirations. This is your time to design a life that brings you happiness and fulfillment. 3. Prioritize Your Health and Well-being Divorce is emotionally and physically taxing, which is why it’s essential to make your well-being a top priority as you rebuild your life. Invest in yourself by focusing on your health—whether that’s getting physically active, eating well, or seeking therapy. Prioritize self-care, because the stronger you feel within yourself, the more capable you’ll be of navigating the challenges ahead. Remember that healing is a process. Some days will be harder than others, but as you invest in your health, you’ll notice your resilience and energy returning. This will fuel you as you move forward and thrive in this next chapter. 4. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences One of the most powerful things you can do after a divorce is to create a community of people who uplift and support you. This is not the time to isolate or engage with toxic relationships that drain your energy. Seek out friends, mentors, and coaches who understand your journey and encourage you to grow. Surround yourself with people who see your potential and push you toward your highest self. Remember, divorce is not an ending—it’s a new beginning.

Divorce is often one of the most emotionally and legally complex experiences anyone can go through. It can feel like an endless maze of paperwork, negotiations, and emotional turmoil. But with the right strategies, you can navigate this challenging time with grace and emerge stronger on the other side. As a divorce strategist, my goal is to help you streamline the process so that you can focus on healing emotionally while securing your legal and financial future. Here are three powerful strategies that will guide you through the legal and emotional aspects of divorce. 1. Understand Your Legal Rights and Options Knowledge is power. One of the most important steps in navigating a divorce is understanding your legal rights and the options available to you. Whether you’re handling the divorce amicably or facing a more contentious separation, knowing the ins and outs of your situation can give you a significant advantage. Start by consulting with a family law attorney who specializes in divorce. You’ll need someone who can explain how divorce works in your state, what assets you’re entitled to, and how custody or visitation arrangements will be handled if children are involved. While your emotions may be running high, focusing on the facts and your rights can provide clarity and prevent you from making decisions based purely on how you feel in the moment. 2. Protect Your Mental Health with Healthy Boundaries Divorce doesn’t just end a legal contract; it also brings up deep emotional wounds, even when the decision is mutual. To navigate this emotional terrain with grace, it's essential to protect your mental health through setting boundaries. Boundaries are the guardrails that help you maintain your peace and sanity during this time. Whether it’s limiting how much contact you have with your ex-partner or setting clear boundaries with well-meaning family and friends, protecting your mental health is crucial. Establish clear expectations about how you’ll communicate and what topics are off-limits. If needed, consider working with a therapist to help you process your emotions and develop coping mechanisms that allow you to navigate the emotional ups and downs without losing yourself. 3. Get Your Financial Affairs in Order Divorce often means financial upheaval, but with the right approach, you can secure a stable future. Start by gathering all necessary financial documents, including bank statements, tax returns, loan agreements, and property deeds. Knowing your financial standing will make negotiations smoother and prevent unpleasant surprises down the line.  You’ll also need to consider whether you’ll seek alimony or child support, how you’ll divide shared assets, and whether you’ll need to re-enter the workforce or increase your earnings. If you’re unsure about the financial landscape, a financial planner who specializes in divorce can be an invaluable resource, helping you understand how to create a post-divorce budget, plan for retirement, and ensure your long-term financial well-being.

Divorce can shake even the strongest of us to our core. It disrupts not only our relationship but also our sense of self. When you’ve spent years defining yourself as part of a partnership, finding your identity after that partnership ends can feel overwhelming. But here’s the truth—divorce doesn’t have to be the end of your confidence; it can be the beginning of a powerful journey to reclaim and rebuild it. Let’s dive into five steps that can help you step into your power and rebuild your confidence, even when it feels like your world has been turned upside down. 1. Reclaim Your Voice In any relationship, especially long-term ones, it’s easy to lose a bit of yourself as you merge your life with another. After divorce, it’s crucial to take time to reconnect with your own voice. Who are you when no one else is influencing your decisions? Begin journaling about your dreams, goals, and desires—no one else’s. Use this time to rediscover the things that bring you joy, passion, and purpose. Your voice is a powerful tool, and when you reclaim it, you take the first step toward restoring your confidence. 2. Surround Yourself with Supportive People One of the most empowering things you can do is create a strong, uplifting support system. Seek out people who lift you up, who remind you of your strengths, and who encourage you to step boldly into the next chapter of your life. Whether it’s friends, family, or even a coach who’s walked this path before, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. These people will not only support you emotionally but help you stay focused on rebuilding your sense of self. 3. Take Control of Your Finances Financial independence can be a huge confidence booster after a divorce. Often, financial dynamics can be complicated within a marriage, and divorce may leave you feeling uncertain about money. Now is the perfect time to educate yourself about your finances and take full control of your financial future. Create a budget, speak to a financial advisor if necessary, and set financial goals that align with the life you want to live post-divorce. When you’re in control of your money, you’re in control of your future. 4. Invest in Your Physical and Mental Well-being Taking care of your body and mind should be a top priority during this time of healing. Physical activity can boost endorphins, reduce stress, and improve your mood, while meditation or therapy can help you process the emotional complexities of divorce. Remember, confidence starts from within, and when you nurture your mental and physical health, you’re laying the foundation for a resilient and confident future.  5. Embrace New Experiences Now is the perfect time to step outside of your comfort zone and try new things. Whether it’s traveling to a new place, picking up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try, or diving into a new career path, embracing new experiences allows you to expand your sense of self and build your confidence in unfamiliar territory. Each new experience you conquer proves to yourself just how capable you are. Divorce is not the end—it’s the start of something new, something empowering. As you work to rebuild your confidence, remember that this is your journey. Trust the process, invest in yourself, and most importantly, know that you are worthy of a life filled with confidence and joy. You’ve got this!